| What Is Happiness and What Makes You Happy? | | | | of these countries relatively are in much lower |
| Ask anyone on the street about their goals in life and | | | | economical prosperity than the US. However, citizens |
| you hear mostly they want to be happy. To do so, | | | | in the above-mentioned countries felt happier than the |
| they seek to acquire different means and skills; new | | | | US. In another similar survey, US only obtained number |
| jobs, new relationships, new cars, and what have you. | | | | 15 from 79 countries in the survey. This clearly |
| They strive to pursue happiness in life as an ultimate | | | | indicates that to reach happiness you do not |
| goal. If happiness is what we all look for, then it begs to | | | | necessarily need to own or have an abundance of |
| ask the question: what is happiness? However, before | | | | material possession. Source: Ronald Inglehart et al. |
| we tackle this question, let's remember that you don't | | | | (eds.) Human Beliefs and Values: A cross-cultural |
| need to be happy all the times. Being sad and | | | | sourcebook based on the 1999-2002 values surveys |
| sometimes withdrawn is a natural emotion which may | | | | (Mexico City: Siglo XXI, 2004). |
| carry its own values and merits. Conversely, to be sad | | | | Happiness is the outer form of your internal harmony |
| most of the times may drain your emotional, mental, | | | | and peace |
| and physical energy that can hinder you to enjoy your | | | | Indeed, happiness is the outer form of your internal |
| life and reach your potentials. In the upcoming posts, I | | | | harmony. You feel happy when your internal conflicts |
| review different elements that define happiness and | | | | are resolved. Have you noticed when you deal with |
| provide you some practical strategies to be happy and | | | | some issues that you are not sure what to do, you |
| live happily. | | | | tend to be withdrawn and feel sad? Cognitive |
| Happiness is a personal reference | | | | dissonance in psychology refers to conflict between |
| There is no universal status and definition which could | | | | two contradictory opinions and ideas that you hold |
| engulf happiness. Happiness is a state of mind which is | | | | about something important in your life. It occurs when |
| defined individually. This means something which | | | | your behavior is different and contradictory with your |
| makes you happy may not do the same for me. Or if I | | | | knowledge and belief. The theory of cognitive |
| feel happy when I achieve one of my goals, it may | | | | dissonance which was proposed by Festinger in 1957 |
| seem and feel quite blunt for you. For Benjamin | | | | (A theory of cognitive dissonance, published by |
| Franklin happiness is having wine as he states: "Wine is | | | | Stanford University Press, Stanford, CA) asserts that |
| constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us | | | | individuals tend to reduce their internal tensions by |
| happy." However, for Albert Einstein happiness has | | | | resolving the conflict. In other words, this theory |
| another meaning, as he sums up: "A table, a chair, a | | | | suggests that people are motivated and driven to |
| bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need | | | | reduce their internal confrontation and stress by |
| to be happy? " | | | | changing their mindsets, ideas, and behaviors. In some |
| How about you, what makes you happy? What does | | | | cases, individuals resort to justification and |
| happiness mean to you? | | | | rationalization to resolve their cognitive dissonance. |
| Happiness is a state of mind | | | | In any decisions you make you rationally weigh its pros |
| A wide array of academic research proposes that | | | | and cons or benefits and disadvantages. However, for |
| human behavior and emotions is directly influenced by | | | | more important decisions if you are not sure what to |
| our mental attitude and thinking. In other words, a | | | | do and take an action against your real opinions and |
| primary origin of our emotional behavior is the results | | | | beliefs, you can experience cognitive dissonance. |
| of what we think. Think about happy times and | | | | Dissonance is pronounced when you believe, for |
| experiences, you feel happy. Conversely, think about | | | | instance, you are a good person, but you do something |
| your past negative experience and worry about future | | | | which is not acceptable by your belief system and is |
| events, you'd feel sad and unhappy. As Dale Carnegie | | | | considered bad and inappropriate. Accordingly, it |
| asserts: "It isn't what you have, or who you are, or | | | | increases if the subject is important to you, how strong |
| where you are, or what you are doing that makes you | | | | your thoughts conflict with each other, or if you are |
| happy or unhappy. It is what you think about." It's said | | | | unable to rationalize it. Cognitive dissonance is a great |
| that every day within 24 hours, there are about 60,000 | | | | motivator to change your behavior. However, it could |
| thoughts that go through our minds. These thoughts | | | | cause you feel sad and unhappy. Naturally to reach |
| could be easily steered to a direction that could make | | | | your state of happiness, you need to resolve your |
| us happy. In other words, happiness could be induced | | | | internal conflict and competing emotions and thoughts. |
| through some proper mental practices such as | | | | Otherwise, to avoid the induced stress you may need |
| meditation, positive affirmation or just effective | | | | to rationalize your behavior. |
| self-talks. This means as soon as you decide to be | | | | To be happy, one needs to feel what she does is in |
| happy and utilize a proper method, you can change | | | | line with her beliefs system. One of my close friends |
| your mood. Accordingly, by changing your mental state | | | | had an extra marital affair. This was rather hard on |
| you become happy in just matter of minutes. | | | | him. He did not approve any improper affairs with any |
| However, to be happy, first you need to decide to be | | | | woman other than his wife. He seemed to love his |
| happy. According to Leo Tolstoy " If you want to be | | | | family and be a devoted husband. However, he was |
| happy, be." The same sentiment and idea has been | | | | attracted to another woman for whatever reason and |
| recognized by a great man, Abraham Lincoln "Most | | | | justification. This duality created rather a stressful living |
| folks are about as happy as they make up their minds | | | | condition for him. For a while, he tried to resolve his |
| to be." Furthermore, by implementing few simple | | | | dissonance by rationalizing. He thought it was the |
| strategies that I outline later on this blog you could be in | | | | invisible hand of "destiny and fate" at work. He felt he |
| a state of habitual happiness despite unpleasant and | | | | had to accept it. However, the idea of fate was not |
| adverse conditions you may experience. | | | | something acceptable to him and stood totally against |
| Happiness is achieved within not without | | | | his beliefs system about individual responsibility. Finally, |
| Despite popular beliefs, you do not attain happiness by | | | | he had to discontinue his affair to free himself from |
| external means and possession. Although having | | | | uneasy feelings and stressful emotions he was |
| financial means helps to have a better life with fewer | | | | experiencing. Naturally, while he was going through his |
| financial worries. However, many rich and well off | | | | affair and consequential stress, he was unhappy and |
| individuals do not feel happy. Over the past twenty | | | | sad. |
| years the University of Michigan's World Values | | | | To be happy, you need to resolve any internal conflicts |
| Surveys (WVS) has gathered information on the level | | | | and emotional stress that you carry within your self. |
| of happiness for different countries in the world. When | | | | Your happiness is the outcome of your internal peace |
| individuals from different countries were asked how | | | | and harmony. In futures articles, I review further |
| happy they were, Nigeria ranked number one followed | | | | different aspects of happiness while proving you |
| by Mexico, Venezuela, El Salvador, and Puerto Rico. All | | | | practical strategies to become and feel happy. |