| It took me about 40 years to clue into the fact that so | | | | what happened? What did you feel about other |
| much about others loving you, and the overall quality of | | | | people? As Dr. Rubino puts it: "All these upsets |
| your life, has to do with loving yourself first. Technically, | | | | combined to diminish your precious, fragile self-image." |
| you could argue (easily) that taking this long to realize | | | | That begs the question: how are your relationships |
| this made me an ignoramus. And you'd probably be | | | | affected by your self-esteem now? In a nutshell: if you |
| right. But apparently, I'm not alone since there are | | | | do not truly love yourself it is unlikely you will attract |
| indications that millions of people are not really happy | | | | true love from anyone else. Misery loves company, the |
| with the quality of life they are experiencing. | | | | adage goes. But so does happiness, in my experience. |
| In my research I came across a quote by renowned | | | | For most, not liking (or loving) ourselves makes us |
| success coach Dr. Joe Rubino that stated "99% of the | | | | concentrate on the faults we perceive in others. |
| time, the personal struggles we experience have their | | | | Focusing on the things that annoy you about your |
| root cause in having insufficient self-esteem in certain | | | | partner is counterproductive. Instead focus on the |
| key areas of our lives!" If the good doctor is right (and I | | | | things that attracted you to them originally, so spend |
| sense he is), the major factor in experiencing some | | | | some time each day focusing on the positive things |
| degree of unhappiness is self-esteem. Why would this | | | | and don't waste time concentrating on the annoying |
| be? What is so hard about appreciating, or rather, | | | | traits that everyone has anyway. While you're at it, |
| loving ourselves? | | | | also focus on "your good taste" in partners. |
| My sense is that self-esteem is a learned skill. After all, | | | | After all, if you could manage to attract such a |
| did anyone ever teach you how to optimize your | | | | wonderful person, there must be something really good |
| self-esteem? For most people the answer is NO. If | | | | about you. This will boost your self-esteem with an |
| you take a moment and think back, recalling those | | | | eye toward getting into a "vicious circle" of love |
| times in your life when you felt the sting of not | | | | yourself --> love others --> love yourself --> |
| "measuring up" or a perceived absence of love. What | | | | others-love you -->... you get the idea! |
| did you decide about your self-worth as a result of | | | | |